Disappointment happens all the time. People let us down and it hurts. But we never get used to being disappointed. For example, your father promised to take you to the Cubs game. He didn’t. Your wife said she would make time for physical intimacy. She didn’t. Friends promised to call you on the weekend. They never phoned. While you were ill, no one from the church visited or called.
Some things are more disappointing than others. For instance, the longer you hope for something, the deeper the disappointment can be. Or if there is only one outcome or opportunity for something to happen and it doesn’t, that could be more disappointing.
After a lifetime of such disappointments, depression can set in. You may feel like nobody keeps their word or will be there for you in your time of need. While it is tempting to go negative, don’t give in to such thinking. In fact, the Bible talks about disappointment.
Consider the children of Israel: They had a long history of dependence based on disappointment. They had a great leader, Moses, but leaned on him too much. When things went wrong, they complained and wanted him to rectify their situation. They expected him to speak to God and take care of them. Regularly they reminded Moses of their suffering in the wilderness and blamed him for taking them out of Egypt. Despite miracles, they struggled to depend on God and instead put their trust in a man who was fallible.
Do you have a Moses in your life? Is there someone or something that you trust to take care of you? Maybe it’s your talent, your money, your church, a person, or your connections. If so, you will be disappointed. God’s Word to you is this- Moses is dead. It’s time for you to rise and depend on God. Only He can be trusted to keep his Word. Learn to shift your dependence from people and things to God.
To handle disappointment:
- Identify the source of your disappointment. Ask, can I change it or is it out of my control?
- Process your emotions. Disappointment often comes with sadness and regret as well.
- Build relationships with people you can trust. Yes, they may still disappoint you, but not as often. Do what you can to build community and support. Show grace to those in your life who don’t intend to disappoint but may.
- Stop complaining about what didn’t happen in your life. Don’t dwell on all the ways you have been wronged. Your Moses will let you down at some point in your life. It may be deliberate or accidental, but you will be disappointed. Grieve those losses and move on.
- Decide if you are disappointed with God. Do you think God is unfair, silent, hidden or simply doesn’t care about you? That is a spiritual issue needing correction. God remains trustworthy. He is dependable and true to His Word. He is your source for everything-provision, supply, love, creativity, resources, healing, etc. You won’t be disappointed in His love and care for you.