When Jason and Sallie Hanson first began dating, they had a conversation. Jason asked Sallie if she was a Christian, because he knew he only wanted to date and marry someone who believed in Jesus. Sallie had committed her life to Christ shortly before, so she assured him that she shared his faith. Jason had started going to church as a child after his mother passed away. Christianity appealed to him because it meant he might see his mother in heaven one day.
For years, Jason believed he was a Christian. He and Sallie went to church and as their family grew, they raised their sons in church. But for Jason, knowing God was more about being better than other people than about personal transformation.
“I really looked down on others that struggled with things. I thought I was better than them. Being a Christian wasn’t about me being transformed, it was about me being a better person because I was going to make different decisions than other people. I lived that way for a long time.”
When Jason started to take stock of his life and what was important, he realized he wasn’t even sure if God existed. He had learned in school that there is no need for God because everything could be explained by science. After a co-worker was diagnosed with cancer, the question of suffering seemed to tip the scales of doubt. One night Jason realized, he really didn’t believe in God. He was an atheist.
“Suddenly I realized, I didn’t believe. So, why was I going through the motions? Why was I faking it?”
At the same time, he realized if God doesn’t exist, then nothing matters. There is no right or wrong. It didn’t matter if he was a good husband, father, or neighbor. There was no point in living. He didn’t tell Sallie right away, but she knew something was going on. She could see that he had lost all hope.
That hopeless existence motivated Jason. He needed to find out what was true, so he began a journey of searching. Science, history, archaeology—he spent ten or more hours each day researching the truth about how humans came into existence. His research led him to a surprising place. Hear one man’s faith journey in Chapter 57 of Epic.